Thursday, August 30, 2007
８月３０日， 星期四， 早上８时4０分 , 晴天
今天没有心情工作， 一大早就跟他吵架了，而且只是为了地芝麻录豆的事吵。 也许溝通少了， 人也累了，已经费时去争论或计较这么多了。 很害怕吵架因为我知道一吵就会伤害到彼此的感情， 我真的不想我们因为一时冲动而放弃大家。 我知道他真的真的很爱我， 不可能没有我。 但我真的很想他也可以理解我要什么， 追求什么， 也很希望他的想法是同我一致的。 反而时间越久，就越觉得我们彼此之间的距离越远了。 就由于我总是觉得自己走的太慢， 好象浪费了很多时间。 老妈整天骂我不要想太多， 不能给自己太多的压力但是我就是不能放松自己啊！！ 我还年轻， 还有体力如果现在不努力追求梦想难道要等到七老八十才后悔没努力过吗？ 我真的好想趁年轻打好经济的基础，不想再为钱而烦恼， 生活也过的好地。 不知道他也有同样的目标和理想吗？？
Monday, August 27, 2007
没有他的日子也是快乐的一天~
我真的放得下吗？曾几何时我真的以为我真的可以放下他这个包袱，直到我看到朋友写下“他和太太”这四个字。 好像很久没他的消息了，感觉也应该没那么强烈了吧？ 但是为何我的心好像有一点点的酸呢？时间没将我对他的爱意调淡，反而更加想念他。 我却有点失望！
很不明白以前的我为何那么傻？ 曾经幼稚过，也曾经不顾一切的付出过；但到头来什么都得不到！ 爱情离我越来越远了，心也碎了，理智也失去了。 搞不懂自己要什么也越来越不了解自己了。 看着镜子里的自己觉得自己很没用，很失败，好讽刺!! 越照就越迷失；已经找不回以前的我了。。。
也许是长大了很多时候不轮到我们抗拒现实的影响，不容许我们站在原地踏步。 我真的希望可以尽快忘记所有以前发生在我们身上的事情，一点回忆也不要留下， 一定要切切底底的忘记他。 也许他曾经带给我很多人生的甜蜜时光和巧合但是我也不能忘记所有暧昧背后的痛苦与折磨！！
既然他不懂得疼爱我那我就学会如何爱惜自己吧！ 毕竟现在的我也过得很好！！=D
希望时间真的可以尽快将所有关于他的回忆统统洗掉！！
很不明白以前的我为何那么傻？ 曾经幼稚过，也曾经不顾一切的付出过；但到头来什么都得不到！ 爱情离我越来越远了，心也碎了，理智也失去了。 搞不懂自己要什么也越来越不了解自己了。 看着镜子里的自己觉得自己很没用，很失败，好讽刺!! 越照就越迷失；已经找不回以前的我了。。。
也许是长大了很多时候不轮到我们抗拒现实的影响，不容许我们站在原地踏步。 我真的希望可以尽快忘记所有以前发生在我们身上的事情，一点回忆也不要留下， 一定要切切底底的忘记他。 也许他曾经带给我很多人生的甜蜜时光和巧合但是我也不能忘记所有暧昧背后的痛苦与折磨！！
既然他不懂得疼爱我那我就学会如何爱惜自己吧！ 毕竟现在的我也过得很好！！=D
希望时间真的可以尽快将所有关于他的回忆统统洗掉！！
Friday, August 24, 2007
~和vs禾~
"有口是和; 没口也是禾."
所谓家和万事兴, 家滖口不停...
人类之所以有一双眼睛， 一对耳朵和一把口是要人类多听多看少说话。 要明白这道理， 听起来很简单但不是每个人都能做得到。。。
所谓家和万事兴, 家滖口不停...
人类之所以有一双眼睛， 一对耳朵和一把口是要人类多听多看少说话。 要明白这道理， 听起来很简单但不是每个人都能做得到。。。
家庭
一个完整的家庭不需要有太多的钱也不需要太多的财产; 只需要每一个成员做好自己的本份, 为家人增添一点温暖. 为人父母有为人父母的责任, 做子女的也有做子女的责任. 千万不能为了一吐气而弄到家没安宁!! 如果是一家人就不会有隔夜仇; 如果是一家人就不会见到面都面左左... 也许爱一个人不需要讲出来， 但是还是需要用行动来表达。爱是需要勇气，需要付出的。只需要多一点关怀，多一点了解；误会就会被铲除...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Friend? Soulmate? Love? Companion? Or….
Friend? Soulmate? Love? Companion? Or….
Well, honestly, I really don’t know!! Our relationship...how to put it? I think it’s barely hard to explain, too complicated to be understood but not too "dangerous" at the moment... He is my friend, my soulmate, my companion and we did have a good feeling on each other previously (some decades ago) but both of us agree that we are not suitable or in other words definitely not the cup of tea of each other (when we're still young). Sigh... Even though we're still young, we already put this kind of matters into conversation. ;P Feel weird if we're couple!! Haha...
However, don’t know when and how it happened, he became my companion, my listener, a person whom I enjoy spending time together, whom I’m comfortable with. We have common interests – movies, music, books, sports, and lifestyle and there’s a feeling of "归属感" with him; it’s like an old friend that you’ve known for a long long time; having tacit understanding... Maybe it's because we've known each other for ages, we grew up together, we "throw harsh words" to each other before, we put on "noisy mood" before but we never give up our friendship and we see changes on us; from pure and naive youngsters to working-adults, we share secrets, gossips, jokes and sorrow together. And sometimes silence can be the best moment between 2 person also.
It’s kinda different from what sy can give me. Maybe sy’s right previously, he doesn’t have the ability to provide "安全感" to me but who cares about "安全感" when you’re only 17? You just need love and care from someone at that time but when ages fled pass you, you’ll look back and realized how naïve your thinking is!! Hehm... Nope, I have no regrets, guess this is life should be, right? You’ll meet a lot of people, sometimes we choose our own destiny but sometimes destiny picks us... As I’ve always told my friends, sy is indeed a really very good guy, in fact can be a very good husband but... is he the right one that I need most? I need a man who listens (not only hear), understand me, able to take care of me and dependable and should be a lifetime companion who thinks the SAME as me!! Sometimes I even confused whether our relationship is on love or just already used to be together? Is it on responsibility to take care of each other? Is it just too dependent on each other? Or is it a true love? I really don’t know. =P
22aug07~1316~BSD~free&easy
Well, honestly, I really don’t know!! Our relationship...how to put it? I think it’s barely hard to explain, too complicated to be understood but not too "dangerous" at the moment... He is my friend, my soulmate, my companion and we did have a good feeling on each other previously (some decades ago) but both of us agree that we are not suitable or in other words definitely not the cup of tea of each other (when we're still young). Sigh... Even though we're still young, we already put this kind of matters into conversation. ;P Feel weird if we're couple!! Haha...
However, don’t know when and how it happened, he became my companion, my listener, a person whom I enjoy spending time together, whom I’m comfortable with. We have common interests – movies, music, books, sports, and lifestyle and there’s a feeling of "归属感" with him; it’s like an old friend that you’ve known for a long long time; having tacit understanding... Maybe it's because we've known each other for ages, we grew up together, we "throw harsh words" to each other before, we put on "noisy mood" before but we never give up our friendship and we see changes on us; from pure and naive youngsters to working-adults, we share secrets, gossips, jokes and sorrow together. And sometimes silence can be the best moment between 2 person also.
It’s kinda different from what sy can give me. Maybe sy’s right previously, he doesn’t have the ability to provide "安全感" to me but who cares about "安全感" when you’re only 17? You just need love and care from someone at that time but when ages fled pass you, you’ll look back and realized how naïve your thinking is!! Hehm... Nope, I have no regrets, guess this is life should be, right? You’ll meet a lot of people, sometimes we choose our own destiny but sometimes destiny picks us... As I’ve always told my friends, sy is indeed a really very good guy, in fact can be a very good husband but... is he the right one that I need most? I need a man who listens (not only hear), understand me, able to take care of me and dependable and should be a lifetime companion who thinks the SAME as me!! Sometimes I even confused whether our relationship is on love or just already used to be together? Is it on responsibility to take care of each other? Is it just too dependent on each other? Or is it a true love? I really don’t know. =P
22aug07~1316~BSD~free&easy
Thursday, August 16, 2007
This is where I want to be....
Kaikoura Canyon, NZ
Milford Road at Fiordland National Park, NZ
Merino Sheep at the cloak of Alphine Hills. The population of sheeps to human in NZ is around 12:1!!!
Cavalli Islands and Kauri Cliffs, NZ
Moving out soon....
Went for an interview at AmCorp two days ago; position Executive at Debt Capital Market. Everything went good but a bit of nervous and unprepared with capital market knowledge and AmCorp’s history!!! Just able to recall back a bit of information I’ve memorized last time I came for interview. Hahah... Hope I’m lucky enough to be selected. Ehm...wish to... They said will get back to me next week for result... Very excited and anxious!! If I were being selected, that means I need to resign again lo!!! Imagine I'm just 2-months old in PBM. Even before telling mum, I can imagine how she will react, “Change job again?? How many jobs you want to change this year only? The THIRD one!! Ask you not to think too much la... Dont be so selective and etc..." Jesus...
Whatever it is, life in PBM still goes on….
Yah, I’m going to move to Kelana Puteri this Sat, staying alone finally!! Busy packing and tidying... It's a middle room, facing entrance of the condo and with 2 guy housemates – one in IT while the other in event company. Looking forward how we can mix up there!!! Haha... Hope they’re friendly, easy-going, helpful, honest and of course need to be as “crazy” and “wu liao” as me also. Then only we can live happily under one roof ma... =P
Bless me...
16 August 2007_BSD; sleepy
Whatever it is, life in PBM still goes on….
Yah, I’m going to move to Kelana Puteri this Sat, staying alone finally!! Busy packing and tidying... It's a middle room, facing entrance of the condo and with 2 guy housemates – one in IT while the other in event company. Looking forward how we can mix up there!!! Haha... Hope they’re friendly, easy-going, helpful, honest and of course need to be as “crazy” and “wu liao” as me also. Then only we can live happily under one roof ma... =P
Bless me...
16 August 2007_BSD; sleepy
Take it or leave it!!
I do not need you to tell me what my big boss’s expectation. I’ve been trying very hard to meet YOUR expectation!! How can I concentrate on my work and be particular and details when you always disturb me with all your own works?? You give me your tough works and expect me to finish mine and yours within specific time!! Is it possible for you? Maybe yes; maybe no. But I guess if the answer is yes, you would not be only an AM after you’ve work for the company for 7-8 years (with the same department also)!!! I am not judging you but I still doubt whether Mxxxy as competent as Chxxxxe. Hahah.. Don't get me wrong!! I'm not discriminating on other races and religion but you'll know if you were me! Unfair? Life is never fair to everyone!! Either you take it or you leave it, right?
There is no need to pretend busy here coz you're not free at all!!
Haha...
written on 9th August 2007_BSD; sad and demotivated
There is no need to pretend busy here coz you're not free at all!!
Haha...
written on 9th August 2007_BSD; sad and demotivated
Tired of work...
I think I really tried very hard for this job but why haven’t see any improvement? Is it because I’m not hardworking enough? I have been trying to get used with bulks of papers, loads of filing and meeting deadline!! Why meeting deadline here seems harder than meeting sales target? Haha... sounds funny but I'm not joking!! I only have one brain and two hands, can’t handle jobs for 2 brains and 4 hands. Sometimes just wish I would be able to utilize my foot as well.
This is not what I want! Not the job I wanted and definitely not the job satisfaction that I dream of! People here are just thinking of stable life and consistent increment and bonuses. I don’t want to be a despatch “gal”, I don’t want to be the secretary of the secretary!! Why must me be the one to help you all deliver letters, memos, documents etc…?? Do I look nice and helpful? I’m not!! I’m not working for Admin!! I’m here to do SUBMISSION!!! Crossover of job functions also has a limitation on it. Still can’t see my potential future and career path. Sigh....
No matter how hard is the job is and how much effort I need to put in, so long it’s my desired job and what I am enjoying is enough. Money will surely come one day. I think I want to go through how it’s like to spend all your life to strive for what you want!! You might not always get what you wanted but at least you’ll remember all the moments you’ve spent in order to achieve your dream. In such a reality world, I just need a space to stand at and be proud of what I’m doing, what I’ve done and what I’m going to achieve.
written on 8-August 2007_BSD; moody
This is not what I want! Not the job I wanted and definitely not the job satisfaction that I dream of! People here are just thinking of stable life and consistent increment and bonuses. I don’t want to be a despatch “gal”, I don’t want to be the secretary of the secretary!! Why must me be the one to help you all deliver letters, memos, documents etc…?? Do I look nice and helpful? I’m not!! I’m not working for Admin!! I’m here to do SUBMISSION!!! Crossover of job functions also has a limitation on it. Still can’t see my potential future and career path. Sigh....
No matter how hard is the job is and how much effort I need to put in, so long it’s my desired job and what I am enjoying is enough. Money will surely come one day. I think I want to go through how it’s like to spend all your life to strive for what you want!! You might not always get what you wanted but at least you’ll remember all the moments you’ve spent in order to achieve your dream. In such a reality world, I just need a space to stand at and be proud of what I’m doing, what I’ve done and what I’m going to achieve.
written on 8-August 2007_BSD; moody
a minute to motivate myself~
Yuen Yee, gambateh a!!! You cant simply give up this time already!! Must work very very hard to overcome all the obstacles!!!
written on 6-August 2007, 1500_BSD
written on 6-August 2007, 1500_BSD
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Good vs Bad
Sometimes you just cant be too hardworking or too clever. Being too responsible will allow people to take advantage on you, making use of your talent to work for someone else!!! And who will benefit? She got the tangible and you got the intangible!! So, the next time you want to finish things fast and accurate, think TWICE!!
We need to work smart, setting priority and time management. Work hard is an essential but should be relevant and to a certain degree. You can work till you’re dead (or in other words you should be responsible and committed and dedicated to your work) but make sure you learn all the skills that being credited to you. Better still add value to yourself instead of wasting time asking why you!! Only to show that you’ve added value to the company, you can negotiate for better opportunities and higher respect in future.
If you think you can sit on your superior’s position in 3 years time, rethink!! Do you think that’s enough? The answer is NO!! If you have what your superior had, why stay? You are able to do more, then you should be able to ask for more!! Dream BIG!! Only when you shown you’re more capable than anyone, you can supersede others. Confidence can be built when you know what is FAILURE!! If you never make mistake and never fails, where do you find courage to say "Yes, I'm 100% sure on this."
Always remember opportunities will never knock on your door; in fact you have to explore for opportunities. Why wait while you can carry on? Throughout the path of life only you’ll be able to gain more. And while you're thinking of giving up, ask yourself, if you've courage to give up, why not have the courage to accept reality and carry on? There will always good deeds behind each obstacle.
There are people who is lucky, have a lot of good opportunities, good work, good friends, good family, clever, pretty.... But there are also some who think they just need one more day to survive, one more glass of water to relieve their thirst and even one more bun for them to live today. So the next time you think you're having the toughest time ever, think again!! You might be one of those lucky one.....
3-August-2007, 1714_BSD
We need to work smart, setting priority and time management. Work hard is an essential but should be relevant and to a certain degree. You can work till you’re dead (or in other words you should be responsible and committed and dedicated to your work) but make sure you learn all the skills that being credited to you. Better still add value to yourself instead of wasting time asking why you!! Only to show that you’ve added value to the company, you can negotiate for better opportunities and higher respect in future.
If you think you can sit on your superior’s position in 3 years time, rethink!! Do you think that’s enough? The answer is NO!! If you have what your superior had, why stay? You are able to do more, then you should be able to ask for more!! Dream BIG!! Only when you shown you’re more capable than anyone, you can supersede others. Confidence can be built when you know what is FAILURE!! If you never make mistake and never fails, where do you find courage to say "Yes, I'm 100% sure on this."
Always remember opportunities will never knock on your door; in fact you have to explore for opportunities. Why wait while you can carry on? Throughout the path of life only you’ll be able to gain more. And while you're thinking of giving up, ask yourself, if you've courage to give up, why not have the courage to accept reality and carry on? There will always good deeds behind each obstacle.
There are people who is lucky, have a lot of good opportunities, good work, good friends, good family, clever, pretty.... But there are also some who think they just need one more day to survive, one more glass of water to relieve their thirst and even one more bun for them to live today. So the next time you think you're having the toughest time ever, think again!! You might be one of those lucky one.....
3-August-2007, 1714_BSD
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