To enroll or not to enroll??

Yah, it’s the CFA that bothers me now… Tot I have made up my mind? Yeap, already had but just minutes ago only to realize I do not have enough courage to click the word “Register”. Oh shit….

I know it’s already Aug and exam is in about 4 month’s time. I keep reminding myself I don’t really have much time to study now. It’s all about battle now and I knew once I’ve started, I really have to be committed to it!!! There’s only one time of chance and I can’t afford to give myself any excuse for not passing it. Time is limited and concentration is the thing I need now!!! No more holidaying, no more photography, no more leisure!!! And it’s all about time management!! Seeing the 6 “telephone book” thick textbooks everyday is like poisoning me day by day…. How can I be able to digest all of them in just 4 months????? Come on, you better kill me now!!!

I understand the principle of opportunity cost, the scarification of something that I have in order to get something that I want. It’s not about cost and benefit analysis anymore and thus you cannot measure what you’ll lost with what you’re going to get!! Sounds complicated?? Yeap, sometimes I do struggle between satisfaction and being realistic. Thinking too much is my only weakness but sometimes I do enjoy being complicated. Freak ya…

Honestly, I am now really 100% scared… I know it’s just a feeling but it really bothers me!! Too many “What if” in my consideration…. The reason? It’s all because it involves a lot of money and time. And it’s all about my future, my career and my dreams…. Although failing the exam is terrible enough but thinking about what I really want is the most terrify me! Is this the one that I want and what if CFA doesn’t bring me to my goals? What if I fail? What if passing the exam doesn’t help me in my finance career? All these questions keep playing around my head like a never stop merry-go-around….

How I wish there will be someone who can help me…. Please, God, I need wisdom and guidance to all these worries… Please pull me away from all those greed, misjudgments and doubts. Please direct me to concentration, calm mind and positive thinking.