Friend? Soulmate? Love? Companion? Or….

Friend? Soulmate? Love? Companion? Or….
Well, honestly, I really don’t know!! Our relationship...how to put it? I think it’s barely hard to explain, too complicated to be understood but not too "dangerous" at the moment... He is my friend, my soulmate, my companion and we did have a good feeling on each other previously (some decades ago) but both of us agree that we are not suitable or in other words definitely not the cup of tea of each other (when we're still young). Sigh... Even though we're still young, we already put this kind of matters into conversation. ;P Feel weird if we're couple!! Haha...

However, don’t know when and how it happened, he became my companion, my listener, a person whom I enjoy spending time together, whom I’m comfortable with. We have common interests – movies, music, books, sports, and lifestyle and there’s a feeling of "归属感" with him; it’s like an old friend that you’ve known for a long long time; having tacit understanding... Maybe it's because we've known each other for ages, we grew up together, we "throw harsh words" to each other before, we put on "noisy mood" before but we never give up our friendship and we see changes on us; from pure and naive youngsters to working-adults, we share secrets, gossips, jokes and sorrow together. And sometimes silence can be the best moment between 2 person also.

It’s kinda different from what sy can give me. Maybe sy’s right previously, he doesn’t have the ability to provide "安全感" to me but who cares about "安全感" when you’re only 17? You just need love and care from someone at that time but when ages fled pass you, you’ll look back and realized how naïve your thinking is!! Hehm... Nope, I have no regrets, guess this is life should be, right? You’ll meet a lot of people, sometimes we choose our own destiny but sometimes destiny picks us... As I’ve always told my friends, sy is indeed a really very good guy, in fact can be a very good husband but... is he the right one that I need most? I need a man who listens (not only hear), understand me, able to take care of me and dependable and should be a lifetime companion who thinks the SAME as me!! Sometimes I even confused whether our relationship is on love or just already used to be together? Is it on responsibility to take care of each other? Is it just too dependent on each other? Or is it a true love? I really don’t know. =P

22aug07~1316~BSD~free&easy