PBB Performance

Finally can update about our preview to PBB on Monday. It was great!!!! I have to admit tat I really nervous and scared and I can feel my smile was soooooo "fake". Hahahh.... Eventually I nearly miss out the steps. =D

Anyway, it is a very good experience and I think he is quite satisfy with our performance and I can feel he has a bit of impressed of what we are showing him. Well, at least he didn't ask us to repeat the dance again. He just said, "Okay, I heard that you all have just started to train about 1 and a half month, so I think it's not too bad. You all just have to brush up some movements, be confident on your step and your facial expression."

You don't know how relieve I am after hearing wat he said!!! That was like, thank god for everything!! However I'm getting nervous n nervous now as the AAN is on next Thursday!!!! That means we only have 6 more days to go!!!

As usual, not much to talk about in regards of work... Just a boring job. Going to prepare for more new funds soon so it's kinda peak after the AAN (I think). Email has been shoot out, I'm going to be in charge of 6 new funds this time, which is expected to be submitted by June. YES!!!! By June!!! What a life!!!

Ehm... I'm still thinking to take or not to take CFA. Not sure whether it will help me in Corporate Finance in the future. I really wanted to achieve something in my career. I have been wasting so much time waiting for something that I personally also don't know will succeed or not. I am afraid the more I move forward, the distance between me n SY will be more!!! How I wish I will be able let everything down, put my dreams behind and become his lovely wife for the rest of my life... But I cant.... I am not willing to forgo my dreams yet!!! I think not until I achieve something in my career, I wont get married. This is my principle and I have to be firm on it. How am I going to explain with SY? I dont believe in marriage coz I came from a broken family!!! My mum brought me up, gave me education, earn money for my college and university. My dad... is a lazy, smoker, gambler, never take care of us. My memory with my dad only until my primary school where he rewarded me for my excellent results. But he never educate me. he never taught me how to be independent, how to think, never explain why i need to be educated...etc...

My mum, on the other hand, worked from morning till evening just to earn the RM80 p.day, 6 days a week, no public holiday, no OT claim in order to support my living expenses in KL. I knew how hard my mum earn her living. She travel 30-40km a day thru and fall on her bike to Ipoh because the paid is higher and more projects to do. I can still remember there was one nice evening I saw my mum coming home with wounds on her hands and legs, bloods on her shirt and pants. A lorry overtaked her and made her fall on the ground. She slide few metres away. I cannot imagine if any other worse scenario happened!!! I really cant imagine.... Luckily she is still conscious and just suffered minor injuries. And there is this kind man brought her and her bike back. You think painting is easy? Try to paint your ceiling for a day!! I guarantee you for the next one week you cant move your head!!! And that is what my mum do everyday. Have you ever saw your mum climbing on those high steel ladder next to those construction buildings?? I did... since I was in Primary 4!!!

Relatives looks down on you because you only live in a small papan house, you dont drive a car, you dont have smart children scoring all As in their exams and etc... Never thought of this thing will happen??? You're wrong!!! It happened on ME!!! I saw it, I experienced it, I taste it!!! Never too good to accept!!

I learnt to be independent, I learnt to believe in myself, to protect myself and to take care of myself!!! All this by my own and I am happy with what I have achieved now!! I want more achievement!! I want money, power and pride!!!

I am not going to give up by all means!!!